Wing Man Bait

First Professional Model Shoot 

You know who they are, you’ve met them, had dinners with them, work with them, you may even be one. The wing man. 

As essential as a good pick up line, the wing man has existed as long as men have been picking up women. Invented to full fill the need for assistance in dating, the most popular move of this esteemed position is usually to charm the less attractive friend of a hot, more desirable women. Said wing man then keeps her distracted and entertained while his boy hook, lines, and sinks the hotty. Boom!

It has been hypothesis that the whole evolution of this position was created entirely for dealing with me. For my entire adolescence and most of my 20’s I was the slightly overweight, (Or sometimes eloquently referred to as “Thick”), awkward friend, with a flirtation handicapped that some poor sap would mock interest with while his lucky buddy slides right in with whatever super model, belle of the ball, friend I’m with at the time and basically I look like an ass. It took a long time for me to cause on to this.

Smooth.

Performing in an Alice Cooper Tribute Band

I think that’s where my addiction for the spotlight really started. Oh we could go back farther and reflect on the fact I was constantly the new kid, constantly in new schools, constantly having to start over again and make new friends. Or the fact while everyone would be rocking whatever trend of the 90’s, I was stuck in Kmart jeans therefore ostracized by pre-teen society. One could look back at my early life and realize I was constantly in a state of having to prove myself, be seen, and fit in, only to then have to move and start all over again. So maybe it started earlier than my teens but I never really noticed until I was forced to make small talk with some guy, (we didn’t even have the option to mindlessly cruise our smartphones back then) while his buddy, or buddies for that matter, talked up whatever thinner, prettier, more socially adequate friend, roommate, or teammate I was out with, who then got rained all the love and praise and free drinks of a B-list celebrity. Course you say anything to your friend about it and you’ll get the same line…

“Oh my god, you’re being ridiculous. You’re so pretty, boys are dumb”

Singing with the husband

Then they’d flip their hair, call you dramatic and drink their free sex on the beach.

My First Time Being Published As A Model 

I was bitter about it then but now as I reflect I can honestly say, I have those moments to thank. People who get it easy, never have to try, so they settle. When things just fall in place, what is there to work for? The need to constantly adapt and need to be seen as my own person is what put me on stages with a microphone, put in behind a camera, forced me to if anything, be interesting. There came a point I decided I was sick of being the typical funny best friend in every romantic comedy and to be, something of my own.

Maybe I’m a tool, maybe I am pathetic and all my crazy attempts and projects and in the end all my ideas become fails. Nether the less in the end I can say I tried, and I did something, and I had adventures. I have gotten to meet a lot of great people. Worked with talented photographers and make-up artists. Even got published a few times. I’ve gotten to sing with some pretty talented musicians. Even came in 3^rd in a Rock Girl competition which was basically a glorified edgy beauty pageant. Not bad for the chunky girl in the Walmart clothes from a small town.

I don’t ever expect to be famous. I don’t think that’s ever been the goal. I don’t know what I plan on doing with my life or with any of these little projects and endeavors. The point is sometimes you just have to say “screw it”, a do something that scares you.